


Premonitions

by amdnj



Series: Buddies [2]
Category: Kamen Rider Drive
Genre: Dreams and Nightmares, Irony, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-04
Updated: 2015-09-04
Packaged: 2018-04-19 00:50:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4726586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amdnj/pseuds/amdnj
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gou has a nightmare and makes a late night call.</p><p>GouChase is the main focus with hints at ShinGou and ShinChase and ShinGouChase.</p><p>Spoilers for Episode 44 and earlier. As well as spoilers based on the preview of Episode 45.</p><p>Takes place between Episode 44 and 45.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Premonitions

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kitarin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kitarin/gifts).



**_“CHASE!”_ **

The words leave his mouth as the world moves as if there’s slowdown. Yet his body is able to get to the others falling form before it hits the ground. Blood. There’s way too much blood. It pools out of the other’s side, reminding Gou that the other isn’t as…inhuman as he thought he was. It pools out reminding him every single horrible thing he’s ever done; it paints his form red in his regrets and in his misery. Because that blow was meant for him. Banno’s blow was meant for him, and this asshole jumped in front.

Banno’s laugh fills the air. It fills the air in all of his shortcomings and all of his mistakes and of all the sins that he bares just by blood relation. Yet it isn’t louder than his heartbeat pounding in his ears. It isn’t louder than his sobs that choke him in ways several months ago he wouldn’t even think was possible.

“What are you doing?!” Gou screams. His voice is harsher and hoarser than he’s ever heard it. Or maybe it’s just the situation that makes it feel that way. “That was meant for me! You’re not allowed to die!”

The smile on Chase’s face is something Gou has wanted to see aimed at him and yet he could never admit that before. But not like this. Oh god not like this. Not like this. His head chants nearly drowning out Chase’s response.

“I could not let you take the blow. You would die.” Chase mumbles barely able to form words. Gou can start to see the life – Life. Roidmude are alive. But those thoughts are far from this scene – drain from his eyes. He clutches Chase’s Jacket as if to try to squeeze the life back in to him, as if to do anything he could to stop the other from leaving him. He’s just…he’d just started to admit his feelings.

“YEAH AND NOW YOU’RE DYING. You can’t….you can’t…” _You can’t leave me._ Suddenly the tears in his eyes start to obscure his vision as if he is trying to block this out because this isn’t happening. This can’t happen. There’s no way. It’s too cruel. It’s way too fucking cruel. “Everyone needs you.” _I need you_.

Chase weakly lifts his hand, his fingers gently across his cheek. Gou suddenly finds that it’s even harder to breathe. “You are my buddy. I cannot let you die. It would make everyone sad.” Chase’s words get harder and harder to understand. Gou shakes his head lightly, as if to shake away everything that is happening. This cannot be happening. “It would make me sad. Please take care of yourself and everyone.” Chase slowly places the signal chaser, proto-drive, and his license in Gou’s hand. It’s heavier than it should be. “You are a good person, Gou. I am glad that we are….buddies.”

All of the air in him is suddenly knocked out of him as the last words weigh him down as the items in his hand way him down as the screaming in his heart the misery in his tears as the whole world suddenly feels like its twisting and warping and melting. Everything is wrong.

“No. Come back. Come Back. Come back” He finds that he stops breathing because it’s too fucking much. All of this is too fucking much. How is he supposed to keep breathing when this world keeps fucking everything up? When he keeps fucking everything up.

 ** _“CHASE!”_ ** He screams bolting straight up. His heart is beating wildly, screaming and crying in regret, anguish, and a thousand attempts to take back every single asshole thing he’s ever done because Chase deserves better. And at the same time his throat is choked up with a thousand cries of how he’d rather Chase still hate him if it mean that he wouldn’t die to save him. He knows though that it would change nothing. Chase is better than he’s ever deserved. He would die to protect him even if Gou screamed that he hated him straight to his face. It makes it even worse.

Blinking a few times, he clears the tears to realize that it’s the motel he’s rented for the night. Sleeping with random people for a roof over his head has been difficult. Every time he picks out the same type, and every time he says the wrong name. And as much as he wants to sleep with Shin-Nii again, he’d been having too many nightmares about how everything could go wrong. Shinnosuke had started to ask too many questions. Gou was never the one to answer. Always the one to run away. And he hadn’t slept with Chase since he’d called him on the phone. His ego – his heart – was too fragile for him to sleep with Chase again unless he meant it and wasn’t going to take back the ‘I love you’s he whined in moments of passion.

He hadn’t slept with anyone since before Brain died. And it made it so much fucking worse. Because Brain, Medic, and Heart mimicked Chase, him and Shinnosuke so badly it made him want to scream. Because Chase had the role of Brain in their dynamic. And what had happened to Brain? He’d die saving Medic to protect Heart’s happiness. _To protect the happiness of someone who’d treated him like dirt._ It was too fucking much. His brained swirled again and again over the scenario. That was entirely too close to something Chase would do.

Maybe he should just stop sleeping.

Falling back on the bed, he reaches over to the nightstand and grabs his phone. With a deep breath, as if he was replacing all the air that he’d screamed out and cried out and screamed out, he presses a button and places the phone to his face. He finds that his eyes are closed as if that’ll make this situation easier. As if he won’t have to look his problems in the face. Phones were great for that. He didn’t have to see the emotion in others eyes. They didn’t have to see the emotion in his own eyes.

“Gou. It is late, should you not be sleeping?” Chase’s voice fills the silence, and suddenly he finds it easier to breath. Oh god, it was only a dream. Only a dream. It hadn’t happened. Chase was safe. Not dead. Not dead to protect him.

“…Did you have a nightmare?” Chase speaks again as Gou doesn’t respond too lost in his own thoughts. Too lost in his own heart. Too busy trying to unscramble the words and feelings in his heart into something maybe coherent for once.

And that was another reason why Gou had stopped sleeping with Chase. Another person asking too many questions.

“Chase. Promise me something.” Gou mumbles, trying to hide the way his voice cracks betraying just how hard he was crying, how hard he was screaming. Trying to hide the way his heart is painted and smeared all over his sleeve all over his entire person all over his voice. “Promise me. You won’t die like Brain did. You won’t die protecting me. Please.” It’s an unusually vulnerable moment for him. He blames the nightmares. He blames the lack of sleep he’s had. He blames the way the world has been yanked from under in and painted in shades of colors he’s honestly not used to.

“………Gou….” Chase’s tone tells him everything. The way it always does when he wants to pretend that Chase is a color of simplicity instead of a rainbow of his feelings and desires and everything he doesn’t even know how to deal with. “…I…”

“No.” Gou says louder than he meant to. Tears start to flow again, and he hates the way his voice so clearly paints a picture of his anguish. Chase isn’t supposed to know how fucked up he is right now. “I’m not taking another answer. I can’t lose you. Chase. Not like this.” _I love you._

There’s no answer from the other line for a while. Briefly, he hears mumbling in the background. Is he….?

“Shinnosuke says to come over. Nightmares are easier dealt with if you share the bed with others.” Chase says simply, completely skirting over the question. “I have learned this from Shinnosuke.”

Trying to make the way he’s started to hiccup less obvious, Gou mumbles a yes and then hangs up.

He wouldn’t lose anyone else. He would keep his new family. Shinnosuke’s blood was already on his hands. Even if he came back. His blood was still on his hands. He couldn’t…

Chase wouldn’t die.  Gou would not let him.


End file.
